my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
