The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
