Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
