Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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