Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
