The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
