Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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