when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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