Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
