drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
