im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
