i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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