The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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