Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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