Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
did you just send me my own nude
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
