I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize