Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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