this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
