he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
