I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
