u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Can you bring me the toilet please
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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