so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
