If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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