Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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