Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
