If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
