Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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