I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
