someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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