I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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