Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I think I sprained my soul last night
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
