I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
