How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
