I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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