I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
