nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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