Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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