I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
