You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
