the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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