u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
