this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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