i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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