Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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