The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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