OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it's like iHOP with fire
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
