nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
