Sponge bath it is.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
