My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I want to be your penis for a week.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
