the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Houston, we have a squirter
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When did we convert life to cartoon?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
