no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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