The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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