ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
