Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
