Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
