Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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