cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
