thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
