Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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