i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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