i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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