It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Still dying that you shit outside
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
is that a dick in a sweater?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize